Tony’s been roaming Burnage recently, slipping out of the flat at all hours of day and night. It’s not uncommon as age and unhealthy lifestyle choices take their toll. The elderly often randomly wander off but it’s far from safe. 

Luv-e and KRITON knew they had to act. One night, while Tony was unconscious, KRITON, with its advanced robotic precision, and access to YouTube, performed a bold and dangerous surgical procedure to ensure his safety. The operation to implant the KRITON TAG GPS microchip turned out to be far more complex than anticipated. Tony’s spine, described after KRITON’s initial pre-op examination as “anomalously thin and structurally irregular—akin to a knitting needle,” proved elusive. It took nearly four painstaking hours for KRITON to locate the exact position of the spine and safely implant the device at its base.

The BYE BYE BURNAGE merch store is now open. Top quality products delivered to your hovel in the colony. All profits to the KRITON Corporation which will probably be spent on weapons of mass destruction. 

Be brave Shop Now

Get ready for the highly anticipated premiere of DIRTY ANDY - NATURAL BORN SHILLERS. Delayed by the writers strike, beset with production issues and setback by Tony Battersby's drinking problem, the release date is now just around the corner. So get yourself 5 mins worth of your favourite snacks, a strong drink, something you can smoke and subscribe to BYE BYE BURNAGE before it's too late and we can't help you anymore. 

Starring Prince Andrew as DIRTY ANDY

KRITCOIN S01 I Special - Luv-E Firmware version 1.0.8.6 A special announcement from the KRITON Corporation 

KRITCOIN becomes the only legal tender in the UK DATA COLONY